Today after I dropped my daughter off for camp, I stood around and chatted with some other moms. We spoke of our kids, our life, our normal. It got me thinking about support.
That feeling you get when you meet another person who knows what you go through. It is a revelation, wow, she gets me, she lives my life. It is such a relief to know you are not the only one out there. That you are not crazy for the way you feel or behave with your special little one.
It is a life changer to be talking to another mother and not have to smile when they compare their hardships to yours, because it really can be compared. I always try and be supportive to my non special needs mom friends , because everyone, and I mean everyone, has hardships and difficulty, but there is something freeing about talking about my problems with someone who lives in my shoes.
We are in a life that can be isolating. When friends ask what is going on with me, there is that moment of hesitation while I weigh telling them “fine” or really let them in. It is a heavy life and I have had experiences of letting people in to either see their eyes glass over or get a ” oh that’s rough, guess what happened to me?” . True empathy is rare and we are all so different that we all need different support. I don’t expect anything from anyone , but I am careful about who I let in, because it can lead to resentment. Resentment kills relationships, so I just realign what kind of support I can expect from different people.
That is why is so amazing to have mama friends in the same normal that I am in. I don’t have to watch my words or expectations and more often than not my expectations are exceeded. From them I gather strength, love and acceptance. We are a resource to one another, helping to give the best to our children. I am very lucky to have quite a few mamas I can rely on to call or write to in a tough time. Although we live far from one another , we are sisters in arms. For that I am grateful.