Decisions….Who is really making them?

Wawoo’s condition is such that there are times in her life we have to make decisions about what to do to help her and when it isn’t necessary or helpful. These times are really stressful for our family. Immediately I am thrown into an overwhelmed state as all the information jumbles in my head trying to find priority. What is most important? Is potential worth the risk? 

Then comes the anger and grief…why do we have to be put through this ? I’m tired of being in these positions. And I know there will be more of these situations that we will be faced with. Ugh I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for days. 

Slowly I come out of the overwhelmed state and start asking questions and doing research. Slowly I start to separate fact from conjecture. And I keep telling myself that it’s one step at a time. One step at a time.

I tend to jump into the entire picture mode and get myself worked up about things that  might not even happen. I forget that it is not up to me what happens. I have to make my busy mind stop and pray.

Pray for strength.

Pray for guidance.

Pray for protection. 

I can’t control everything…in fact I can’t control ANYTHING. I can trust that God will guide me to the right decision. I HAVE to rely on Him. 

I will use my intelligence to look at all the information that is given to me and I will do what’s best for my daughter to the best of my ability and trust that Krishna is there to help her and hold her in ways that I cannot.