Today was suppose to be Wawoo’s first day of school. She got up and we got ready. She rode the bus and I met her there to make sure everything was right. Only everything was not. The “aide” they provided flat out refused to care for her. Claiming she had never worked with a severely disabled child. She didn’t think she could have a loving relationship with her as she was so disabled. All I saw was rage! My worst nightmare. Someone looking at my baby as something not someone. 

Meanwhile her aide from last year still wants to work with her. She is kind and loving and caring but the school put her somewhere else. 

I am so frustrated and hurt. Why does this have to be such a fight? I have to try and find a balance between keeping a good relationship and being firm and getting her what she needs. It’s not easy.

Through all of this my munchkin is having a high tone day and is very spastic. So I find myself gritting my teeth trying to make calls and manage her at the same time. It is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness when I don’t know where to start. 

There is a lesson in here about not being in control and just doing your best. I can almost taste it. But right now all I know is I’m tired and I want a cookie 🙂