School. The word brings fear to my heart. She is in school. With people I have to trust will care for her. I have to watch her get on the bus and pray she will have a fun time and enjoy it not just tolerate it. She comes home and I scoop her up in my arms and try to see if she can tell me what she is feeling.
Does her overflowing joy at seeing me just mean she loves me and misses me or is it a silent message that it was not a good experience? My heart flip flops in my chest as so many thoughts fly through my head.
Then there is the relief of having some time to myself. How glorious it is to have a break from the responsibility of always being on beck and call. Does every mom in my situation feel like this? Or am I abnormally sensitive to this?
Then comes all the extra stuff I have to work through. Therapists. Some are wonderful amazing people. Some are not. And when you have to deal with the ones that don’t really want to do their job you have to somehow get what your kid needs without alienating anyone including your own brain! But its not easy and things drag on and on. You have to be diplomatic and forceful at the same time. haha yeah piece of cake 😉
Ah but the cuddles when she gets home makes me forget all the trouble that goes into it all. She screeches with laughter and talks all about her day. We laugh and giggle and grin like idiots at one another. Life can have perfect moments.